My parents divorced when I was 6. Those same parents divorced again when I was 8. (Do the math and figure that out. If you can't and/or your confused call my hot line). Before I go on my endless thought pattern about the subject let me tell you I've been surrounded by some of the greatest, longest, most lovingest (if that's a word), marriages known to man, oh and "woman" cause this article is equal. (Minus Noah, he was like 900 years old, look it up. And what was his precious wife's name again? Ya, exactly).
I've known friends that got married (both female and male) to their partner after 3 months. I've known friends that married after "dating" or engaged for two, three, five, 10 years!. The difference? Nothing! Some made it and still to this day are happily married with many offspring and some, sadly didn't.
Marriage. We've all heard it. A man and a woman. Husband and Wife. 'Til death do us part. What even gets more deeper is a Latter Day Saint temple marriage. 'Til NEVER do we part. But guess what? Even those do. Although every human being would love the cloak of a bullet proof, fool proof system, it just doesn't exist. Even religion can't protect the very sacred matrimony of marriage. Because the truth is, no matter how you slice it two separate human beings are involved in it. Notice I said human. That's not to say our brothers from across the continent who think females are still one step below their beloved milk cow have a shot and deserve one. I'm talking a normal, equal opportunity country...like ours.....and Iraq and Afghanistan. Oh wait, never mind, that's a story for a different time. So....I digress.
The point is, I do not have a lot of "friends" that will read this from any third-world country. Generally, I like to think my friends are from the U S of A. Where we expect, and DEMAND certain things.
Demand our Constitutional rights! Demand our amendment rights! Wait, how many amendments have their been to "OUR" constitution? Not sure are you? Well, we all know the 1st, my military brothers/sisters will know the 2nd, the 4th because of course you can't search my/our house without a warrant and the very popular "I plead the 5th"!. Regardless of how many there are, did anyone notice if there was one that talked about our Constitutional right to be married? Sadly, no, it doesn't exist. And this is where we, as smart women and men (notice I switched the gender around so the females wouldn't bitch about always coming in second) fail.
Everyone knows I've been divorced more than necessary. I allow the jokes about it, in fact, I'll be the first one to make a joke about it. But the truth is, it is sad. It's sad to me to see good friends and family go through it. If you've ever wanted your beating heart ripped out, stomped on, and everyone you care about to laugh at it and you feel has no sympathy for your life (much like your crazy dreams) then divorce is for you. If not, it isn't. In fact, I'll go on record to say that although in hindsite I'm very glad I'm no longer married to them, it still hurt and it still effected who I was, and the decisions I made.
But, all things being equal, the point of my story is this. Please, if you've never been divorced don't think you've won some Medal of Honor above those that have. You got lucky. Why do I say that? Because how in the hell did you manage to keep your spouse from cheating? From lying about finances? From raising your kids the way YOU didn't want to? Etc, etc, etc. You didn't! You got lucky! For those of you who have experienced this torture of faith, hang in there. Maybe you are the one that screwed it up. Maybe you are not. The point is you are just as worthy of the happiness those that managed to get lucky have. If this is your 1st marriage, 3rd, God forbid 8th marriage, you are just as worthy! Why? Cause you are a human being. And I truly believe someday, someday that will be the day that-that man/woman walks into your life and you will either realize where you went wrong before, or you will trust your heart won't be ripped out again. And to you I say be happy! Find that happiness!
For that, I love that I was born when I was. Not in a time of me as a man when I get to say "I have a penis therefore you, woman, should bow down. The right to vote? In your dreams! I make dinner? Ya right! I take care of the child? Whatever! You go work? HA-HA-HA! Stay home, cook my dinner, and make my children! What a dream you have woman!"
Just as equal, a female that says "women rights movements are going strong and I'll just do whatever I want and think the man is a horrible hairy beast, screw you and screw the consequence! I deserve (and demand because I am a woman) to have the same exact (to the penny) income you have regardless of what I've done to get it! I don't need any man, and if I ever falter (for sexual purposes only) you will be the last to know! In fact, my friends just told me last night how much I don't need a man.....on their way to their husbands! Men suck!" Whew, how horrible is that for both sides.
Hmmmmm I wonder how divorce happens so easily now. Weird. I for one say that divorce is a disease that this country/society deems too readily available as an option because we haven't made it a damn Constitutional Amendment yet.
Just my two-cents!
Monday, March 7, 2011
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Growing Up Poor
If my mother taught me one thing, it was how to save and spend money. However, I don't believe that I truly grasped the training because I'm not the best at it. But, I do believe she taught me that. Growing up poor sucked! Let me reiterate that, growing up poor SUCKED! And, I grew up poor probably at the worst time. Now a days, I believe most everyone shops at Walmart. You can get clothes there and I don't think kids really care because EVERYONE shops at Walmart. However, when I grew up there was no Walmart. My mother had to take us three kids to second hand stores, wait for some super deal to come along at a "real store", lay away at K-Mart, or yes, even the Deseret Industries, for clothes! Unfortunately, when I grew up from the mid 70s to the very early 90s clothes were HUGE! What you wore defined who you were. Sad? Yep. But very true!
School lunch. Besides my mother not being able to afford "cool clothes" for us kids, I remember absolutely hating school lunch. If your parents met a certain financial shortfall, the public paid for the students lunch. "Free Lunch" is what they called it. When I was in grade school they had lunch cards. You took your card to the lunch room, they punched it, and you ate lunch. One small problem with this system they had back then. The cards were different colored lunch cards. White was "regular" parents purchased lunch cards. Blue was "free lunch" lunch cards. OUCH! Seriously? Your going to make some poor grade school kid carry around a different colored card to lunch to identify him/her as a "free lunch kid"? There was not ONE grade school kid that made more or less money than I did back then. Their parents may have but they didn't. Kids can be mean. And they are. To this day I am very OCD when it comes to my daughter's school lunch. I pay that religiously! It's right up there with my mortgage payment. Even if I lose my job, my health, my desire for life, that damned school lunch will be paid....by ME! I'm sure the system is different today because we are very "politically correct" now. But for the rest of my life that crappy ass lunch card system will always be in my memory and how it effected me.
The "cheese line". Yep, I was one of those kids. I stood in line, holding my mom's hand, and we waited for our free government cheese, and milk, bread, flour, etc. etc. Thank God the mean kids from school didn't have to go there otherwise they would have seen me. Kids can be mean. And, they are. I remember "special nights" was defined by my mom being able to afford Kool-Aide, popcorn, and a VCR and video. I say VCR because we didn't own our own back then. But, no worries, you could rent a VCR back then too. Sweet!
Shoes. Why is shoes such a big deal? In my closet right now are about 4 pairs of shoes that I've had for probably a combined 8 years. Growing up poor however meant going to Payless and buying "poor shoes". Air Jordans? Yeah, right! I had Payless shoes. And other kids noticed. Kids can be mean. And, they are. To this day I have no understanding of why shoes are that big of a deal. I remember reading news articles of kids back east killing one another...for their shoes!
Child Support. Before my daughter moved in with me, I paid Child Support. It was my FREAKIN' RESPONSIBILITY! Why is that so hard for some men (I say men because generally I believe it's about 90% of men who are required to pay this) to understand this concept. You created life, you are no longer with the partner that created that life, you pay your fair share to ensure that life you created is taken care of. How is that hard to understand? My father paid $100 a month. Ahem, for 3 of us! Good job, dad. He made good money. I know for a fact he made enough money for us not to grow up poor. But, he was busy getting laid, loving others, making other babies, doing "his thing" to worry about us. Once again, good job, dad. But I digress, this is not about my father.
My mother. Strongest woman I have ever met. Now that I'm in my late 30's I can say that still to this day. Strongest woman I have ever met! If there truly is a God who "loves all of us" and there truly is an after life that redeems gifts and blessings based on their world actions, this woman is going to be a queen amongst us all. This rambling isn't about her either but I wanted to make sure if I commented about my dad that my mom got more respect and notice than he did.
Taxes. I do not believe there are many people that love handing the government their hard earned money. I do believe, however, that I enjoy it more than most. I don't "enjoy" it, but I truly believe it is my duty to do it. Growing up poor meant that the community paid for a lot of things that I enjoyed. Food, clothes, water, heat, a bed, etc. I don't make a ton of money now, but I definitely pay my fair share of taxes. Do I hate watching people abuse our federal or state tax system? Hell yes I do! But, every tax season when I see just exactly how much Federal, State, and local tax I have paid, I am at peace with it. Why? Because I feel that if it wasn't for this system of taxes we have, I would not be here. My mother did exactly was was supposed to happen when someone utilizes our government for support. She was on welfare, hell, I mean WE were on welfare, she got an education, she started making her own money, and she got off welfare. Bingo! That's what it is for. Hence, I pay into that same system she utilized, for me, when I was a child. It's not a "your welcome" for me to pay my taxes, it's a Thank You!
Closing. I am sure there are children right now growing up poor. Good lord our economy sucks! I work for the government so I'm somewhat safe. But I know they are out there. To this day, for no explained reason, I'll give a homeless man a $20 bill and just keep walking. I'll throw a little extra in the supermarket's "do you want to help feed the homeless campaign". I will be a secret santa and give a few hundred towards someone elses family struggling. Do they use the money appropriately? I don't know, and I truly don't care. That's not my call. All I know is that growing up poor sucks!
School lunch. Besides my mother not being able to afford "cool clothes" for us kids, I remember absolutely hating school lunch. If your parents met a certain financial shortfall, the public paid for the students lunch. "Free Lunch" is what they called it. When I was in grade school they had lunch cards. You took your card to the lunch room, they punched it, and you ate lunch. One small problem with this system they had back then. The cards were different colored lunch cards. White was "regular" parents purchased lunch cards. Blue was "free lunch" lunch cards. OUCH! Seriously? Your going to make some poor grade school kid carry around a different colored card to lunch to identify him/her as a "free lunch kid"? There was not ONE grade school kid that made more or less money than I did back then. Their parents may have but they didn't. Kids can be mean. And they are. To this day I am very OCD when it comes to my daughter's school lunch. I pay that religiously! It's right up there with my mortgage payment. Even if I lose my job, my health, my desire for life, that damned school lunch will be paid....by ME! I'm sure the system is different today because we are very "politically correct" now. But for the rest of my life that crappy ass lunch card system will always be in my memory and how it effected me.
The "cheese line". Yep, I was one of those kids. I stood in line, holding my mom's hand, and we waited for our free government cheese, and milk, bread, flour, etc. etc. Thank God the mean kids from school didn't have to go there otherwise they would have seen me. Kids can be mean. And, they are. I remember "special nights" was defined by my mom being able to afford Kool-Aide, popcorn, and a VCR and video. I say VCR because we didn't own our own back then. But, no worries, you could rent a VCR back then too. Sweet!
Shoes. Why is shoes such a big deal? In my closet right now are about 4 pairs of shoes that I've had for probably a combined 8 years. Growing up poor however meant going to Payless and buying "poor shoes". Air Jordans? Yeah, right! I had Payless shoes. And other kids noticed. Kids can be mean. And, they are. To this day I have no understanding of why shoes are that big of a deal. I remember reading news articles of kids back east killing one another...for their shoes!
Child Support. Before my daughter moved in with me, I paid Child Support. It was my FREAKIN' RESPONSIBILITY! Why is that so hard for some men (I say men because generally I believe it's about 90% of men who are required to pay this) to understand this concept. You created life, you are no longer with the partner that created that life, you pay your fair share to ensure that life you created is taken care of. How is that hard to understand? My father paid $100 a month. Ahem, for 3 of us! Good job, dad. He made good money. I know for a fact he made enough money for us not to grow up poor. But, he was busy getting laid, loving others, making other babies, doing "his thing" to worry about us. Once again, good job, dad. But I digress, this is not about my father.
My mother. Strongest woman I have ever met. Now that I'm in my late 30's I can say that still to this day. Strongest woman I have ever met! If there truly is a God who "loves all of us" and there truly is an after life that redeems gifts and blessings based on their world actions, this woman is going to be a queen amongst us all. This rambling isn't about her either but I wanted to make sure if I commented about my dad that my mom got more respect and notice than he did.
Taxes. I do not believe there are many people that love handing the government their hard earned money. I do believe, however, that I enjoy it more than most. I don't "enjoy" it, but I truly believe it is my duty to do it. Growing up poor meant that the community paid for a lot of things that I enjoyed. Food, clothes, water, heat, a bed, etc. I don't make a ton of money now, but I definitely pay my fair share of taxes. Do I hate watching people abuse our federal or state tax system? Hell yes I do! But, every tax season when I see just exactly how much Federal, State, and local tax I have paid, I am at peace with it. Why? Because I feel that if it wasn't for this system of taxes we have, I would not be here. My mother did exactly was was supposed to happen when someone utilizes our government for support. She was on welfare, hell, I mean WE were on welfare, she got an education, she started making her own money, and she got off welfare. Bingo! That's what it is for. Hence, I pay into that same system she utilized, for me, when I was a child. It's not a "your welcome" for me to pay my taxes, it's a Thank You!
Closing. I am sure there are children right now growing up poor. Good lord our economy sucks! I work for the government so I'm somewhat safe. But I know they are out there. To this day, for no explained reason, I'll give a homeless man a $20 bill and just keep walking. I'll throw a little extra in the supermarket's "do you want to help feed the homeless campaign". I will be a secret santa and give a few hundred towards someone elses family struggling. Do they use the money appropriately? I don't know, and I truly don't care. That's not my call. All I know is that growing up poor sucks!
Friday, January 7, 2011
Michael Vick
Right now there is a lot of talk about Michael Vick and whether he should be cheered or jeered. I personally do not think the country would be talking about it had it not been for him having a great season with the Philadelphia Eagles. But, he did, and thus, we ARE talking about it. CNN.com just did an article about him and the current situation. It's not the article that caught my eye. It was the responses online to the article. It truly was split down the middle 50/50 on reader's responses about whether we should hate him, or basically, not.
My thought today isn't necessarily this issue. It's the fact of what some people consider heinous crimes versus not so heinous crimes. Our society supposedly agreed long ago, and continues to agree, about what does and does not constitute a heinous crime. However, I believe that's not the case anymore. For instance, several readers posted comments on CNN.com about how Mr. Vick should burn in hell for what he did to innocent animals. Others, say that he paid his dues to society and to move on. Then, those same readers start bashing each other about their beliefs. Hence, I don't feel we are all in agreement here as to what a heinous crime is.
My feelings? You harm/kill a defenseless animal, that's bad...hmmmkay? However, I can think of a hell of a lot worse things people have done and continue to do that warrants LESS of what Mr. Vick had to pay (both monetarily and with his freedom). Situations like this remind me of how I still am confused to this day about murder, child molestation, and torture. I've read countless articles about someone murdering someone else and the punishment is, oh I don't know, 3-15 years in prison depending. However, some adult molests a child and the punishment I think generally is about the same 3-15 years but the outcry is amazing. You read comments on news articles from people and you can read any of the following:
-"Cut off his (I say his cause it's usually a male perpetrator) balls!"
-"Send him to death right now and piss on his grave!"
-"He's going to hell and his soul will burn in hell!"
Those types of things. But, for a murderer, who let's be real here, has CHOSEN to end someones life. These murderers decide that however many years their victims had left to live (1, 5, 20, 50) are gone, they destroyed that for them. Well these same bleeding hearts say "well, he's paid his debt to society and deserves an extra chance". Really? I'm sorry but I truly feel that if you harm a child you pay a price. You DESTROY another human beings God given right to live, you pay a price. I'm not so sure that payment for the crime should be the same and I'm not so sure that the murderer should pay less.
That's my two-cents for the day. :)
My thought today isn't necessarily this issue. It's the fact of what some people consider heinous crimes versus not so heinous crimes. Our society supposedly agreed long ago, and continues to agree, about what does and does not constitute a heinous crime. However, I believe that's not the case anymore. For instance, several readers posted comments on CNN.com about how Mr. Vick should burn in hell for what he did to innocent animals. Others, say that he paid his dues to society and to move on. Then, those same readers start bashing each other about their beliefs. Hence, I don't feel we are all in agreement here as to what a heinous crime is.
My feelings? You harm/kill a defenseless animal, that's bad...hmmmkay? However, I can think of a hell of a lot worse things people have done and continue to do that warrants LESS of what Mr. Vick had to pay (both monetarily and with his freedom). Situations like this remind me of how I still am confused to this day about murder, child molestation, and torture. I've read countless articles about someone murdering someone else and the punishment is, oh I don't know, 3-15 years in prison depending. However, some adult molests a child and the punishment I think generally is about the same 3-15 years but the outcry is amazing. You read comments on news articles from people and you can read any of the following:
-"Cut off his (I say his cause it's usually a male perpetrator) balls!"
-"Send him to death right now and piss on his grave!"
-"He's going to hell and his soul will burn in hell!"
Those types of things. But, for a murderer, who let's be real here, has CHOSEN to end someones life. These murderers decide that however many years their victims had left to live (1, 5, 20, 50) are gone, they destroyed that for them. Well these same bleeding hearts say "well, he's paid his debt to society and deserves an extra chance". Really? I'm sorry but I truly feel that if you harm a child you pay a price. You DESTROY another human beings God given right to live, you pay a price. I'm not so sure that payment for the crime should be the same and I'm not so sure that the murderer should pay less.
That's my two-cents for the day. :)
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Telling Stories
It appears everyone wants to tell their story, eh? Well, I'm no different, so do I. However, my story (or stories as the case may be) are not sugar coated nor made for anyone underage, which would include my daughter. The way I see it, I want her to learn about "real life", but some of it will not, nor should not, come from dad. So I think to myself, - hmm, Jeromy, can you write something on the internet, give your daughter a faster computer than you have, and think it'll keep from her eyes -? Well, yes, actually I do. But I truly believe that stories are written by normal "every day" folk but unfortunately most are sugar-coated to make sure their families and friends approve. We wouldn't want to write something with our fingers that our eyes or mouth wouldn't be able to communicate the same way would we? That, after all, would be awkward. So those writers, or thinkers, do get their voice out there (if "out there" is the term), but it truly isn't THEIR voice, it's what they kinda feel of inside mixed with what their loved ones "approve of". Huh, isn't that what church meetings are for? I don't know of a church that approves of being 100% vocal of EVERYTHING you feel or think.
That all being said, unfortunately, my chosen career does handicap me from saying anything and everything I think. This is ironic, because I've sworn to defend that right for all my fellow citizens. But, I digress; the one(s) you work for aren't necessarily the one(s) that give you the same right back. Which is okay, because I do love the furnace clicking on right now when it's 6 degrees outside and knowing I paid for that God given right...right? Anyway, so this starts something I would like to keep going. I'm a single, just turned 38 year old man, who lives with his only child, an 11 year old daughter in Riverton, Utah. I also have a 1 year old Beagle and a 9 month old sneaky cat I saved from the certain jaws of death from the Humane Society but she is the only one that doesn't know it. And life is good. But life, use to be not so much. I want to tell that story.
That all being said, unfortunately, my chosen career does handicap me from saying anything and everything I think. This is ironic, because I've sworn to defend that right for all my fellow citizens. But, I digress; the one(s) you work for aren't necessarily the one(s) that give you the same right back. Which is okay, because I do love the furnace clicking on right now when it's 6 degrees outside and knowing I paid for that God given right...right? Anyway, so this starts something I would like to keep going. I'm a single, just turned 38 year old man, who lives with his only child, an 11 year old daughter in Riverton, Utah. I also have a 1 year old Beagle and a 9 month old sneaky cat I saved from the certain jaws of death from the Humane Society but she is the only one that doesn't know it. And life is good. But life, use to be not so much. I want to tell that story.
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